Toddler Refusing to Nap
Why it happens
Every parent
knows this scenario: Your toddler gives all the signals that she's
exhausted and needs sleep — she yawns and rubs her eyes, flops on the
floor, and bursts into tears of frustration when her block tower
collapses — but she still won't go down for a nap. The explanation is
simple, though the solution may not be: Toddlers fight the urge to rest
simply because they are so interested in what's going on around them.
Your curious toddler has so much to see and do and she's afraid that if
she naps, she'll miss out on something. Also, just like other toddlers,
your child is beginning to understand that she's separate from you and
is her own person, so she asserts her independence whenever she can.
Refusing to take a nap is one way she wrests control from you.
What to do
• Scale back your expectations.
As a baby, your child probably napped two or three times a day, but now
that she's a toddler, she's going to move gradually to one nap a day.
Sometime between 13 and 18 months she'll probably stop sleeping in the
mornings; when that happens, try moving up her afternoon nap so it's
just after lunch. Waiting till later may push back her bedtime to late
at night, since she won't feel like sleeping just a few hours after
waking from her afternoon nap. • Keep naptime consistent from day to day.
Toddlers need routine to feel secure; if your child goes through the
same steps each day she'll know what to expect, and you can hope she'll
be more compliant. If she usually reads three books before you tuck her
in, for example, make sure you don't skip this activity even if you're
pressed for time. If your toddler stays home with you, make sure she
naps in the same place she sleeps at night, says Jodi Mindell, a
pediatric sleep expert. Don't give in to demands to nap on the couch or
in your bed. This will help her associate her own crib or bed with
sleep and help her wind down more quickly. If your toddler attends
daycare or preschool and naps there, try to follow the same routine
both places. Make sure she has her stuffed bear or blanket and try to
have her go down at the same time on weekends that she sleeps at school. • Make sure your toddler falls asleep on her own at night.
Once she's mastered drifting off on her own during bedtime without your
rocking, nursing, or lulling her to sleep, she'll be able to do so
during the day. If her bedtime routine needs work too, now's the time
to start. Read on for more tips on how to establish healthy sleep habits in your toddler. • Stay firm but calm.
Although it's frustrating having to deal with a toddler who won't nap,
the best thing you can do is not show her that she's getting to you.
Try to avoid making naptime a battleground. Just tell her that she
looks tired and needs to rest, and you do, too. Then, give her a hug
and a kiss, tuck her in, and leave the room. If she cries, check in
with her and try to soothe her but don't lie down next to her. If you
do, she'll get used to falling asleep only when you're there, and
you'll have another set of problems on your hands. If she absolutely
refuses to nap, leave her with some toys and books and tell her it's
quiet time. Although she won't feel as rested as she would if she'd
slept, having an hour or two when she's not involved in rambunctious
play can at least shore up her energies.
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